


White Lightning

by Bexyrogers41



Series: Guardian and speedster [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-11-02 07:31:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bexyrogers41/pseuds/Bexyrogers41
Summary: What if Barry Allen wasn't the only speedster?. What if he wasn't the only one who was struck by lightning the night of the particle accelerator explosion?. And what if Central City had not one, but two protectors?. This is the story of White Lightning. This is my story. My name is Raven Blackthorne and I am the fastest woman alive.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have decided to redo this story over cause I didn't like how some of it came out.

Have you ever wished that you could do more, to be able to shape and change the world, to make it safe for others, no more meaningless deaths, no more pain, no more suffering, no more families having to say goodbye to their loved ones, taken from them way too soon?. Now I want you to think for a minute or two. How would you react if one day you woke up and something about you had changed, had been drastically altered, you not being the same person you once were?. That is exactly what has happened to me. To believe what I'm about to tell you, I need you to do a little some first. I need you to open up your mind, to begin believing in the impossible. See that white blur?. That's me. Yeah, I'm not kidding you. My name is Raven Blackthorne and I am the fastest woman alive. And my extraordinary journey began nine months ago. 

Nine Months Ago.

It was getting harder and harder to come here, to set foot in the city that was once my home, a place full of happy memories, of myself growing as a happy, carefree child into the 26-year old woman I am today. 

Those happy years feel like they're a million miles away from me, making me feel almost as if that happy childhood full of happiness and joy was nothing but a cruel, torturous dream. 

It's been two years since it happened yet I still suffer from the nightmares almost everynight, myself walking into the place that was once my home, finding the body in the living room, glass, wood and blood everywhere I look, the blood belonging to my father. 

Even though it's been two years, I can still smell the blood, can feel it on my hands, it never having really washed clean. God, there was so much blood. I don't even remember waking up in the back of the ambulance, seeing police swarming the house....and my father's body being wheeled out in a body bag. 

I don't even realise I'm crying at first until I feel the liquid begin to stream down my face, my shaking leather clad hands moving up to wipe those ugly tears away. Would coming here ever get any easier?.

Feels like all I've been doing since that night is scream and cry, like a millennia since I really laughed, like full out laughed even though I'd abandoned Starling City for Central City. 

God, I wish I wasn't alone right now, that thought leading me to pull my IPhone out from the pocket of my jeans, switching it on, going into my photos, bringing up the one photo that always seems to help me when I'm feeling down. 

It's a group photo, me, Caitlin, Cisco and Ronnie. I slowly start to smile remembering the day it was taken in S.T.A.R Labs. Tonight was gonna change everything, I just know it, the future arriving a lot sooner then anyone had thought. 

I'm still hoping to get home in time for the switching on of the particle accelerator, to watch the future arrive. I'd worked at S.T.A.R Labs ever since I first moved to Central City, my background in both mechanics and medicine turning out to be exactly what Dr. Wells needed for his team.

And I'd fallen in love with what I do almost instantly, Harrison Wells becoming like a second father to me, Caitlin like a sister, Ronnie like a brother. Cisco on the other hand?. Well, that was a tiny, teensy bit more complicated making me let out a heavy and weary sigh. 

I switch my cell off, slipping it back into my pocket, my dark blue eyes falling slowly down to the ground, them automatically refilling with tears seeing my father's grave, his name carved into the dark granite headstone. And it all comes rushing back to me, finding his body, having to watch him get lowered into the ground, my then obsessive search to hunt down the person responsible for his death. 

I wasn't stupid. I knew all about Starling City's vigilante, the man in green, The Hood, about everything he's done, all the deaths at his hands. And I didn't care, too fixated on getting the blood of the bastard who butchered my father on my hands. 

Funny how it was the same vigilante that saved my own life by stopping me from doing exactly what that man had done to my father. 

"H....hello, Oliver," I mumbled, his presence which is all too familiar stepping up beside me, feeling both surprised and not so surprised to see him here.

I feel his arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me towards him, lending ne his much needed strength and support. 

Guess I'd known Oliver was The Hood almost straight away which had shocked me considering the last I heard of Oliver Queen he'd been missing for five years after a shipwreck. 

How he'd managed to survive that and come back is still a mystery to me. But all that matters is that he had returned knowing that if he hadn't then I'd be sitting in a jail cell right now, not the monster who'd taken my father away from me.

"How did you know I was here?."

"Lucky guess. Just knew you'd come here, Raven. And I felt like you needed some support. You're still not alone," Oliver said, his hand rubbing my shoulder softly. 

"Thanks, Ollie. I....I guess I do," I sighed, moving my head so it's resting on his shoulder, trying not to wish that arm belonged to another person. 

But I know that would never happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to Lokilover14 for her help with this story.

"Home sweet home," I muttered, sighing a little wearily, shutting the door of my apartment behind me pulling off my leather gloves slipping them into the pockets of my coat before hanging it up on the hook on the back of the door, kicking off my boots at the same time.

Even though I'd been living in the same apartment in the same building for the past two years those familiar smells of pine and lemon still make me feel instantly warm, like I was still in my childhood home back in Starling City, the rocking chair next to the fireplace and the old Grandfather clock in the hallway. 

That damn Grandfather clock was always my father's pride and joy, that memory making me slowly start to smile remembering how often I'd come home from school to find him polishing the glass even though the last thing it needed was a polish. 

That clock was something I hadn't brought with me when I'd moved here, it still sitting in that hallway, its body covered with a white sheet.

I'd only brought three things from that house, that old rocking chair even though it was now looking a little worn, my father's old fobwatch, something he'd inherited from his father, my grandfather, and my memories of him.

Everything else I couldn't bear to bring with me afraid if I did then all I'd see when I look at them is my father's blood covering them, the very thing I see in my sleep almost everynight. 

If only I could find a way for me not to sleep, I'd take it with both hands. Anything to put a stop to the nightmares. 

After the visit to my father's grave and the surprise visit from Oliver, I'd come straight back to Central City not bothering to say hi to any of my other friends even though I don't have that many.

Believe me I would have at least gone to see Felicity, the perky blonde computer genius who was basically my best friend in my old city, but I just couldn't find the time wanting to get home in time for the particle accelerator switch-on. 

No doubt Ollie would have told her that I'd been in town and I'd get an angry text message from her which would then make me sink straight into guilt mode.

But tonight was important, probably the most important night of my life, having helped with the construction of the accelerator although Cisco and Ronnie had done most of the real man's work. 

Hopefully nothing would go wrong. But....but I'd had this weird feeling all day, almost as if I'm Spiderman and my spidey sense was flaring. 

I shake my head, snorting under my breath worried I was actually starting to get paranoid, walking through my small entrance hall through the quite decent sized living area, my fingers brushing the arm of the old worn rocking chair that had been in my life since I was crawling. 

I head into the bedroom, my eyes glancing down at my watch seeing I've got about ten minutes before the big switch-on. 

Being an only child, my mom having upped and left me and my father when I was just a few weeks old never knowing why, I'd been left everything when he'd died and that meant a pretty big amount of money. 

Yep, my family is very wealthy, second only to the Queens.

My father and Robert Queen were even old business partners and very close friends which was how I came to know his two kids Oliver and Thea and his wife, Moira.

Which was why it was so shocking to discover Oliver had A. Survived that horrendous ship wreck that had taken his father and a few others and B. Had become a vigilante.

When I was much younger, I wasn't exactly, shall we say, fond of Oliver cause of how he acted. 

Nowadays he's as far from the spoiled arrogant richboy I knew as a teen just like I'm nothing like the young girl who people said would always have a smile on her face. Guess we're both damaged, huh?.

I dump my bag on the floor next to my queen-sized bed not bothering to unpack, feeling far too exhausted grabbing my PJ's off my pillow. 

I strip out of my clothes a little saggily, pulling my PJ's on before walking over to the dressing table picking up my brush running it through my jet black hair, wincing a little when I run into a few tangles turning around, my eyes moving to the window, my place having a perfect view of S.T.A.R Labs. 

And I freeze, the brush slipping out of my hand hitting the floor, my eyes widening fast seeing something has gone horribly wrong making me think of that bad feeling I'd been experiencing all day. 

I move closer to the window, my hand touching the glass, watching the phenomena happening in the distance. 

It's as if the entirety of S.T.A.R Labs is on fire, the building glowing orange, a sort of shockwave bursting out shooting across the city.

Any thought I had of trying to get in touch with any of my friends is suddenly the last thing on my mind as the glass of the window shattered and a scream rips out of my mouth. 

I get thrown across the room smashing into the wall above my bed, the bolt of lightning seeming to come out of nowhere, hitting me, electricity coursing through my body. 

Then everything around me turns to black.


	3. Chapter 3

Nine Months Later.

I'd never really given much thought as to how I would die. But I'd always imagined I would live to a ripe old age, dying without any pain, moving onto a higher plain, happy knowing I was leaving this world with a legacy, my own children and grandchildren happy in their own lives. 

Never once did I imagine my death to be caused by some freakish, unnatural accident, a bolt of lightning being my murderer, taking me from this world before I'd even turned twenty-seven. I remember everything that had happened, that weird orange glow coming off S.T.A.R Labs, knowing something had evidently gone horribly wrong.

Most of all, above anything else, I remember the pain, the electricity coursing through my body. It was the most unimaginable pain I'd ever felt almost as if I was a murderer assigned to the electric chair. As I was blacking out, everything around me turning to nothing, my mind was screaming one thing; I'm dead, this was it for me, my life over at still such a young age. 

What about my friends, all the people I was gonna be leaving behind?. How were they gonna react finding out I was gone especially Caitlin, the woman who was basically my sister?. I would never get to see her and Ronnie marry, watch her take his hand, exchange their vows, her looking like an angel in a white dress. I'd never see Starling City again, my old home, a city full of both good and bad memories. I never even got to see Felicity one last time. God, she'd be so mad!.

But the one thing I regret above anything else is not finding the guts and the backbone to tell the man I loved how I truly felt about him. I would never see Cisco again, the man who became my greatest weakness the moment I saw him smile, the second our eyes met and I felt like I was one of those pieces of paper in a bottle cast at sea in The Rescuers. 

If my heart was beating right now, I know it would break. If my eyes were open, they'd no doubt be weeping. And I always looked like Sam Winchester when I cried. 

Something....something feels strange, the black void I'm floating in feeling nothing like I expected death to feel like, having always imagined this white tunnel to open up in front of me, all my good and not so good memories opening up on either side like a film reel. Slowly, suddenly, my ears start to pick up music, quiet at first then slowly building up volume. And I inwardly smile recognising the song as being 'Love is a battlefield' by Pat Benatar.

And my eyes fly open fast, my breathing coming out hard, fast and heavy, finding I'm looking up at the ceiling of what I know to be S.T.A.R Labs. But how can I be here and not at the hospital?. What the hell is going on?.

"Oh, my God. She's awake. Raven?. Raven, can you hear me?."

I bolt upwards, my eyes moving around wildly before ending up on the two people I'm more then a little happy to see, my already fast pacing heart beating a little harder seeing the one person I wanted to see more then anyone else in the world. 

"C....Cisco?. Cait?. What....what am I doing here?," I cried, my hand moving to my chest, feeling my heart bang against my ribcage. 

"Dr. Wells, we need you in the cortex now. Raven's woken up."

"Raven, I need you to calm down and look at me. Can you do that, sweety?," asked Caitlin, her hand moving to rest on my shoulder, squeezing it gently, her other hand shining a light into my eyes, making me wince a little, the light a little too bright. 

"BP 170 over 110, pulse is 120. Pupils are equally reactive to light."

"Seriously, guys, what's going on?. Why am I here?," I cried, getting up off the bed, my legs shaking underneath me making me sit back down straight away.

"Raven, don't you remember what happened to you?. You were struck by lightning," said Cisco, his eyes locking with my own making me feel a little less on the verge of a panic attack. 

"Yeah, I remember. I just....what the hell?."

I jump up off the bed, ignoring how bad my legs were still shaking, moving over to one of the computer screens, my hand moving to my head, my fingers running along the now quite large white streak which has somehow appeared in the middle of my hair. They then drop to my stomach finding it somehow looks more toned then it was before the accident. 

"Your muscles should be atrophied, but instead they're in a chronic and unexplained state of cellular regeneration," explained Caitlin. 

"But....but what about this?," I asked, my fingers moving again to the white streak in my hair. 

"Now that I can't explain."

"I think it's cool, dude. You totally look like Rogue now," grinned Cisco making me snort, a smile spreading out on my own face. 

Then it drops away seeing how serious he suddenly looks, walking back over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress, my hands dropping to between my knees.

"How....how long was I gone for?. Cause I know that look on your face Ramon and it's telling me it's bad."

"You....were in a coma, Raven."

"A....a coma?. For how long?."

"Nine months. Welcome back, Raven."

I turn towards the sound of the voice, one I know belongs to Dr. Wells, watching him come into the room. And I feel my heart sink seeing he's no longer walking, his hands pushing the wheels of his wheelchair around. Clearly I wasn't the only one affected by the explosion of the particle accelerator. 

"I think we need to have a talk, Miss Blackthorne."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have something planned for later on in the story which concerns Raven's parentage.

I can't believe this is really happening. I feel like I'd woken from a nine month long nightmare only to end up in a whole new one. And no amount of pinching or shaking was gonna wake me up from it making me very quickly begin to wish that I'd never awoken, that I'd never survived that bolt of lightning. 

Above every single emotion I could feel right now, it's guilt I'm feeling the most; guilt for that bad feeling I'd been experiencing hours before the switching on off the accelerator, guilt for being in Starling City instead of being here, guilt for the switch-on going so horribly wrong even knowing I wasn't responsible for it.

But most of all I'm feeling guilt for Ronnie's death, myself being the one to survive the accident instead of him, robbing Caitlin of the one person she loved above all others. I may aswell have killed him myself, those feelings getting worse with every passing second. I feel exactly like I did that night those two years ago, walking into that room and finding my father dead, his damn heart ripped to shreds. 

It's taking everything I have in me to hold it together, to not break down, knowing I had to be strong for not just myself but for my friends. I was too afraid to ask exactly how Ronnie had died. Knowing I'd lost the man I loved like a brother was all I needed to know. 

I unleash a heavy exhale, wrapping my arms around my stomach, my fingers pinching my arms in an attempt to keep the sob that's been building and building inside me, reluctantly following Wells through the corridors of S.T.A.R Labs. Thank God for him and not Cisco right now. The last thing I wanted was to have a meltdown in front of him.

"Seventeen people died that night, many more were injured, myself amongst them."

"Jesus. How....how could this have happened?. I don't understand," I muttered, staring down at what was once the particle accelerator, nothing but a blackened charred mess staring back up at me, feeling like it's almost taunting me.

"The particle accelerator went online exactly as planned. I thought, I believed, my life's dream had become a reality. And then....then there was an anomaly. The electron volts became unmeasurable, the ring under us popped. Energy from that detonation was thrown into the sky and that, in turn, seeded a storm cloud...."

"That created a lightning bolt that struck me."

"There's something else I....think you should know. You.....weren't the only one who was struck by lightning. Barry Allen was also hit."

"W....what?. Barry....Barry was hit aswell. How is that possible?. We weren't together," I frowned, staring down at Wells, the intensity of his stare making me feel a little uneasy.

"Clearly it created more then just the one storm cloud. To be frank, what happened was....very strange. I was recovering myself when I heard what had happened to both you and Mr. Allen. The hospital was undergoing unexplainable power outages everytime you were going into cardiac arrest which was actually a misdiagnosis because you weren't flatlining, Raven. Your heartbeat was moving too fast for the EKG to register it. I'm not the most popular person in town these days, I know, but I had you both moved with the permission of Detective Joe West and his daughter," Wells explained, both of us turning around and heading back to the cortex. 

"Iris?. Man, I've missed her," I grinned, the dark-skinned beauty being the first real friend I made moving here.

"Iris, yes. She came to see you both quite often."

"She talks a lot," Caitlin said, making me laugh. 

"Also, she's hot," Cisco said, making my grin drop a little trying to hide the hurt in my eyes.

"I, umm, I have to go," I muttered, turning around, starting to walk away.

"No, you can't," Caitlin said, making me stop, turning back to look at her.

"Caitlin's right. Now that you're awake, we need to more tests. You're still going through changes. There's so much that we don't know," Wells said.

"Look, guys, I get you're concerned, but I'm fine. All I wanna do is go home, have a shower, change into some actual clothes then go find Barry. I promise I will return, okay?. It's....it's just too much to deal with right now," I cried, walking out fast, my hand moving over my mouth. 

I finally give in, my body falling to the floor on my knees, throwing my head back, a wail ripping out of my mouth, ugly, cruel sobs coming out of me, not caring if anybody heard me. I don't feel the arm around me at first, it taking me a good ten seconds to realise anybody was comforting me. 

And I know whose arm is wrapped around me, whose body is up close to me, my own arms wrapping around him, burying my face in his chest, feeling like now I've broken there's no possible way to put me back together.


	5. Chapter 5

It feels a little strange aswell as a little surreal for my hand to be holding the key to my place, slipping it into the lock and turning it, opening the door after being away from it for nine months, so sure I'd never set foot inside again.

And even though I'd been away for those long nine months, those two familiar comforting aromas of pine and lemon engulf my senses making me sigh, my eyes sliding closed. Again, just like all those other times, I feel like I've been thrown back through time, that I'm back in my old house in Starling City, back before that night when I lost everything thanks to that man who took my father away from me.

It suddenly hits me all over again, my eyes opening slowly, my hand which is suddenly starting to tremble moving to my mouth, covering it. I nearly died. I actually nearly died, nearly lost everything I'd come to love and cherish above anything else since moving here, leaving a life that had shattered like a glass made of crystal.

Yet all I can feel is guilt, knowing somebody else had died instead of me, that Caitlin would never have her happy future with Ronnie. I even feel guilt for Dr. Wells ending up in that damn wheelchair even though I know it was really his fault that all this had happened. 

This isn't fair. Why must I be the one who was lucky to survive?. Why must it be Ronnie who's lying in a cold grave right now instead of me?. Leaving Central City that night was a huge mistake. If I'd been here then maybe I could have stopped Wells from turning on the particle accelerator. 

I need to quit feeling like this. I needed to be strong not just for myself, but for my friends at S.T.A.R Labs right now especially Caitlin. I move my hand from my mouth to my hair, running my fingers through my now black and white locks heading through to the bedroom, shutting the door after me. 

"Shit!," I hiss, jerking my hand back, feeling a sharp jolt hit me like a mini electric shock, the kind you get from shutting a car door in the Summer, rubbing my hand on the sweatshirt I was still wearing that I'd been given back at S.T.A.R Labs. 

Weird thing is that's the third time it's happened since leaving there in a hurry, something which is beginning to worry me. It's nothing, has to be, my head shaking, it probably nothing but my overactive imagination going into hyperdrive.

I feel myself freeze the second my eyes land on the window, remembering all over again it shattering, that bolt of lightning sending me flying across the room, everything around me descending into darkness and nothingness, instantly thinking this was it for me.

Someone has clearly been here somehow, the glass in the window no longer in pieces, a fresh sheet of glass having been fitted making me wonder who was responsible and why they did it.

I make a quick change of clothes, stripping out of the S.T.A.R Labs sweatshirt and pants, changing into my favourite pair of black skinny jeans and one of my graphic tees, this one with Captain America's shield on it, finishing off my look with my dark brown ankle boots. 

I decide to pin my hair up into a half up, half down style still finding it a little difficult to look at the white streak running through the middle of my head, still no idea how it got there. 

Last thing I do before leaving my place is grab my brown leather jacket from the back of the front door, slipping it on then stepping out onto the streets of the city, something I thought I'd never do again.

I couldn't stay in that apartment any longer then I had to be, the silence and loneliness turning out not to be exactly what I needed, my head feeling like it has a mini twister in it. And it wasn't just everything that had happened because of that explosion. Deep, deep down, I feel like I've loved Cisco my whole life even though we'd only known each other for two years. 

From day one, I knew that Francisco Ramon would be my weakness, that I would come to look on him as the person I needed the most in my life even more then Felicity and Caitlin. The second he'd smiled at me, I was lost like a ship in a storm. It had only taken a month of me working at S.T.A.R Labs to know I'd fallen for him. 

And I was utterly convinced my love for him was completely unrequited, that all he felt for me was friendship, that we were never gonna be more then just friends. And I'd learnt to live with that, knowing it was better to have him as a friend then not to have him in my life at all.

After the accident, nearly dying, nearly losing him without telling him how I truly felt about him, I felt my determination never to tell him start to weaken. And I had almost given in back at S.T.A.R Labs, breaking down and feeling him comfort me. That's why I had to leave that place as fast as I could, not wanting to finally give in, finally tell him I love him, that I've been in love with him for two years. I just couldn't bear losing him all because of my stupid heart. 

Or what I had left of a heart which if I'm honest to myself doesn't feel like much anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Deep down, I'm not surprised to have ended up here rather then anywhere else in the city. It was the first place I'd gone to when I'd moved here two years ago. 

It had been less then a week after I'd buried my father, needing to get away from all the bad memories of the worse night of my life. I'd fled to a new city with very little besides the one suitcase, not knowing where to go or what to do.

A few hours later, thanks to me ending up getting lost, Central City being so different from Starling City, I'd come across the local coffee joint CC Jitters. And even though I wasn't a big coffee drinker preferring my hot drink of the chocolaty kind, I'd ended up going inside. It had ended up becoming my place of comfort, kind of my security blanket. Plus, their hot chocolate with added mint was better then anything I'd tasted back in my old city. 

I don't even realise I'd turned into a living breathing mannequin until I look down at my watch and see that five minutes had passed since I'd stopped outside, the inside of the joint looking pretty busy, a quite long queue waiting to be served. Then my eyes land on the friendly, much missed face I'd been hoping to see, very quickly starting to smile. 

And that smile drops like a rock seeing she's stood talking to someone, both pairs of eyes then moving to land on me, seeing me still stood outside like a statue, feeling incapable of moving. I end up wrapped up in two pairs of arms within seconds, just about managing to stop myself from breaking down completely, my arms wrapping around both of them. 

"Oh my God. I can't believe you're both awake. When did you wake up, Raven?," Iris asks, both arms having now released me.

"Umm, a...about an hour ago. I....I was gonna come see you, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay."

"It's....great to see you, R. How are you feeling, honestly?," Barry asks, concern evident in his brown eyes. 

"Honestly?. I'm still a little shaken, but I feel fine. I should be asking you the same thing," I laugh softly, wiping my eyes with the tissue Iris gave to me. 

"I feel good. Seriously, Raven, what the hell happened to you?. I woke up in S.T.A.R Labs and I saw you there in a coma, just like I was. They told me you'd been hit by lightning aswell. I mean, how is that possible?."

"That's what I'm wondering. I'd come home from Starling City about ten minutes before the switching on of the accelerator. Something went seriously wrong. There was some sort of....weird orange light pouring out of the building, some sort of shockwave hitting the entire city. Next thing I know, I get hit by a bolt of lightning and bamm, I'm in a damn coma. I'm guessing the same thing happened to you."

"Yeah, pretty much. I was in my lab, that's where it happened."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank God you're both okay, I've been going out of my mind with worry these past nine months. My dad is gonna be so happy to see you. Let me go get my stuff, okay?. I'll be right back," Iris smiles going back inside Jitters, leaving me and Barry alone. 

"I....I need to ask you something, Bar, and this may sound a little.....weird," I sigh, looking at him, finding he's staring at my head, clearly seeing the white streak running through my black locks. 

"H....how?," he mumbles, moving his fingers to my hair, running a few locks between them.

"Nobody knows. Bar, do you really feel okay?. I mean, you're not experiencing anything unusual at all?."

"Ummm, no. Why do you ask?."

"Nothing. It's....it's nothing," I sigh, feeling like a coward for not telling him the truth about how weird I've been feeling since I awoke, not that I was expecting him to believe me. 

 

"Oh, you scared the hell out of us, kid. You both did," Joe says, hugging me and Barry, making me laugh softly. 

When I'd first moved here to Central City, not knowing where to go or what to do, still suffering from the pain of losing my father, my only family, Iris was the first person I'd met, her being a barista in Jitters. And we'd become instant friends, her warm, gentle and kind nature making me feel a little less lost and alone. 

She'd introduced me to her father Joe the following day who was a detective in the CCPD. And he'd become kind of a second father to me almost instantly, him even giving me a place to stay for a few months until I bought the apartment. Guess they'd both been my rocks those first few months in a new city. 

"You both look okay. Are you really?."

"Yeah," Barry smiles, me nodding at him.

"Detective West, we got a 550 in progress at the Gold City bank. Two dead. Storm's picking up on the south side. I'd grab your rain gear," one of the officers says, interrupting us.

"Sorry, I gotta run," Joe says. 

"Do you need my help?," Barry asks, looking at him.

"No, you take it easy. There'll be plenty to do once you settle in."

"Guess I'd better get out of your hair then. I'll....catch you later," I smile weakly, walking out of the station fast, ending up stumbling down the steps leading outside, nearly ending up on the ground, staggering forward fast, hitting the wall, my hands preventing me from smacking my face. 

Suddenly, I find myself face first on one of the trunks of the police cars, no idea how I ended up here, feeling some sort of....force rushing through my whole body, feeling almost as if I'd turned into a very large tuning fork.

"W...what?," I whisper, moving my hands up off the car, staring down at them, finding they're trembling, but really fast, like they were blurring.

A loud smash makes me drop them, my head turning towards the source of the smashing finding it's come from Barry, him head first in the back windscreen of another police car, the glass in shards around him. 

"You...you feel it?," he asks quietly looking at me, holding his hand up which is vibrating just like mine is. 

"What....what's happening to us?."

"I....I don't know."

I look away from him, staring down the long length of the alleyway, feeling this force grow stronger the longer I stand here. And somehow, I know exactly what to do, my mind screaming at me to run. I slowly close my eyes, focusing on that power that is only getting stronger and stronger. Then I open them, unable to prevent the smile from breaking out.

Then I do what my mind is screaming at me to do.


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a few hours now since both myself and Barry discovered we weren't exactly the same as before we got hit by lightning, since we discovered we weren't the two people we once were before that one fateful night, since I found out I was officially a freak. 

And above every emotion I was feeling, it was fear I was feeling the hardest hit from. If I'm honest, I'm absolutely terrified of what I'd become, knowing I would never be the same ever again. I haven't felt fear like this since finding my father's body. 

What am I gonna do now?. How can I carry on day after day, just wake up in the morning knowing I have these freaky-ass powers?. Most of all, how can I be around Cisco now that I'm....God knows what?. Once he finds out about my powers, he won't want to be around me let alone be my friend anymore. 

I have a feeling Barry is feeling pretty much the same as I'm feeling right now though he's slightly more optimistic then I am about the whole thing. As terrified as I am, I'm glad I'm not alone in this. 

We'd both woken from a nine month coma into a whole new world, one in which we could both run at super fast speeds, the only difference being the colour coming off us as we run, his being bright red, mine being pure white just like the streak in my hair. 

It had taken us a good hour or so to return to S.T.A.R Labs where not surprisingly Caitlin had given us both a scolding, something which would have normally amused me. And she'd put us both through numerous tests and examinations making me feel a little like Steve Rogers after he'd had the serum to become a super soldier. 

Dr. Wells had quite naturally become fascinated by the two of us which hadn't helped lessen my fear. He may have become like family to me, but there were moments where I couldn't figure him out. Doesn't help that none of us at S.T.A.R Labs know much about his past. 

Then there's that nagging feeling gnawing away at my brain aswell as my guts that there could be more people out there who were affected by the explosion remembering all too well that shockwave that had hit the entire city. What if there's more folks out there with strange abilities?.

"You don't believe they can run that fast, do you?," Caitlin asked, her conversation with Wells being heard from inside the S.T.A.R Labs van where myself and Barry are, the team having taken us to some disused runway.

"Well, I believe anything is possible and in a few minutes maybe you will too."

"How does it fit?," Cisco asked watching Barry step out of the van, his lean, toned figure now clad in a bright red lycra suit, a red helmet on his head, a pair of goggles covering his eyes. 

I follow him out a few seconds later feeling incredibly awkward, myself in a similar get-up, but one in white and blue, my hands pulling at the material a little. I still find it hard to look Cisco in the eye, staring down at my feet. 

"It's a little snug," Barry answered, his equal discomfort evident in his voice. 

"At least you'll be moving so fast, no one will see you. See, you and Raven thought the world was slowing down. It wasn't. You were moving so fast, it only looked like everyone else was standing still. Dr. Wells will be monitoring your energy output and Caitlin your vitals."

"And what do you do?."

"I make the toys, man."

"He's our regular little Q, Barr," I grinned, looking up at him, still trying desperately not to look at Cisco.

"This is a two-way headset with a camera I modified typically to combat battlefield impulse noise. Or in both your cases, potential sonic booms. Which would be awesome."

I snort, my grin widening a little hearing him talk about potentially serious things like they're the most amazing things in the world. It was one of the things that made me fall for him, his childlike enthusiasm. 

And that grin falls away a little hearing Barry and Caitlin talk, hearing her mention Ronnie, the pain over losing him hitting me in the gut all over again making me swallow hard trying not to break down all over again, feeling sick and tired of crying. 

I feel a hand land on my shoulder making me jump a little, finding that hand belongs to Cisco, finally finding the courage to look at him, our eyes meeting and locking. And he smiles weakly, his hand dropping down to find mine, squeezing it gently before he slips the helmet back on my head having removed it so he could attach the camera to it.

"Now as eager as I am to determine the full range of your abilities, I do caution restraint," Wells said looking between me and Barry. 

"You got it, Doc," I smirked getting a bit of an eyeroll back in return, walking out with Barry to the edge of the runway moving into position on the ground, my feet slotting into two plates, a little like what runners use at the Olympics, Barry doing the same.

I close my eyes feeling the power course through me, opening them a few seconds later. Then I push myself forward, starting to run, glancing to the side of me seeing Barry running at the same speed I am. I grin wildly at him, pushing myself faster and harder, overtaking him unable to resist letting out a squeal. 

I don't know what went wrong, but I find I'm suddenly running alone, Barry nowhere to be found making me stop, spinning around. Then I see him lying on the ground in amongst some water barrels clearly having run into them.

I speed back to him dropping to my knees seeing he's obviously in a lot of pain, holding his arm up, his wrist at a funny angle. Something had obviously distracted him and deep down I know exactly what it is.

 

"Looks like you had a distal radius fracture, Barr."

"What do you mean had?," Barry asked looking at the x-ray of his arm, whatever injury he sustained having somehow miraculously healed. 

"It's healed. In three hours," Caitlin explained. 

"How is that even possible?."

"We don't know. Yet."

"You really need to learn how to stop," grinned Cisco.

"What happened out there?. You were moving pretty well and then something caused you to lose focus," Wells asked wheeling closer to him.

"I started remembering something. When I was 11, my mother was murdered. It was late. The sound woke me up. I came downstairs and....I saw what looked like a ball of lightning. Inside the lightning....there was a man. He killed my mom. They arrested my dad. He's still sitting in Iron Heights for her murder. Everyone, the cops, the shrinks, they all told me what I saw was impossible. But what if the man who killed my mom was like me and Raven?," Barry said. 

"Well, I think I can say unequivocally, you are two of a kind."

"But....but what if we're not," I thought still unable to get rid of this feeling that there's more affected people out there. 

And what if not all of them are especially nice?.


	8. Chapter 8

"You can't tell my dad, either of you. He doesn't know about me and Eddie."

"Come on, Iris, your dad is a cop. Surely he'll figure it out on his own. And I don't know why you need to keep it hidden from him. Eddie's a cool guy," I smiled, linking my arm through hers as we walk, her company very quickly turning out to be exactly what I need right now.

But as happy as I am for her and Eddie, I was a little shocked that she'd chosen to be with him out of anybody in this city. I may have only been friends with her for two years, but I was pretty much convinced that her and Barry would have become more then friends. A pretty big part of me could see the love they have for each other having been in each other's lives ever since Barry's mom was murdered and his dad was sent to Iron Heights. 

I think this was why me and Barry became as close as we have, us both having lost our parents, the only family we ever really had. Only difference was him being just a kid when it happened. After that night, he'd been taken in by the Wests and the rest as they say is history. Which was why I couldn't help but feel disappointed that Iris didn't feel the same love that Barry felt for her. Not that that's gonna stop me from completing shipping them!.

"Doesn't seem like anyone's in on the secret," Barry said walking on Iris's other side.

"I was gonna tell you. When you were in the hospital, Eddie covered my father's shifts so we could both be with you. I thanked him with a cup of coffee and things just kind of happened. And it's good."

"Hell, it's really good. You and Detective pretty boy," I smirked, winking at her, making her laugh softly. 

"Dating your partner's daughter. Isn't that against department regulations?," Barry asked, making me sigh, deep down knowing he wasn't as happy for them as I am.

"Why are you so upset?," frowned Iris, looking at him.

"I just don't like having to lie to your dad, that's all."

"Oh my God. MOVE!," I yell, jumping out of the way, Barry grabbing Iris, just managing to get her to safety, a police car just missing her by a few inches. 

And I leap up, speeding off after the car that was responsible for that police car nearly hurting my friend, seeing the driver is a pretty young guy, quite messy blonde hair. I zoom inside the car ending up on the passenger seat, the driver looking at me, confusion evident on his face. 

"Oh no you don't, pal," I snarl, grabbing ahold of the steering wheel, yanking it away from him hard causing the car to tip over, rolling over a few times before ending up on the roof. 

I manage to pull myself out, grunting loudly, my head spinning a little, knowing I was probably bleeding aswell. I feel my hand get grabbed making me jump a little, looking up seeing Barry stood over me. 

"You okay?."

"Peachy!. Who is this guy?," I ask, Barry helping me up. 

"I....I know him. But he definitely shouldn't be walking around. HEY!. MARDON!."

The man who was in the car turns around, looking back at us, starting to walk towards where we're standing. Then he moves his hands out and away from him, something starting to happen, fog starting to form in the air, swarming around us, completely hiding him from our eyes. 

I don't even realise I'd been sped out of harm's way until my back slams into the ground just missing being hit by two cars exploding, one being crashed into the other. I was right, my suspicions over me and Barry being the only two affected that night. Looks like Wells hasn't been completely honest with either of us. 

 

"That poor man. The way that fog came in, I've never seen anything like it," Iris said, her sounding just as freaked out as I am, her shoulder getting a squeeze from my hand. 

"Barry!. Iris, Raven."

"Just freakin' great," I muttered hearing Joe's voice knowing we were all gonna get a damn lecture about being out here, him walking over to us pretty fast, police swarming the scene of the carnage. 

"I'm all right, dad."

"What the hell were you thinking, having Iris out here. I told you when you see danger, you run the other way. You're not a cop."

"Because you wouldn't let me."

"You're damn right."

"Joe, I need to talk to you," Barry said. 

"It can wait."

"No, it can't. I know who did this. It's Clyde Mardon. I know, everybody thinks he died in a plane crash after the S.T.A.R Labs explosion, but he's alive."

"He's telling the truth, Joe. I saw his face, saw what he could do. Something happened to him that night. He can control the weather. We watched him do it," I said, looking at him.

"The recent robberies, they all happened during freak meteorological events. And when me and Raven confronted Mardon, the street was instantly enveloped in fog. Of course you don't believe me. You never believe me."

"Okay. You want to do this now?. Out here?. Fine. Mardon is dead. There is no controlling the weather, Barry. Just like there was no lightning storm in your house that night. It was your brain helping a scared little boy accept what he saw," Joe said, raising his voice a little. 

"My dad did not..."

"Yes, he did!. Your dad killed your mom, Barry. I am sorry, son. I knew it, the jury knew it. He's paying for what he did."

"Dad, enough," Iris cried. 

"Iris. I've done my best to take care of you since that night and I have never asked for anything in return. Not even a thank you. But what I do ask now is that you for once in your life see things as they are."

"Barry. Barr, wait. Joe," I sighed, looking at Barry walking away then turning back to him.

"As for you, young lady, you shouldn't even be here. You're not a cop either," Joe said, pointing his finger at me. 

"Fine. I'm out of here," I snapped, walking away pretty fast trying to find Barry finding he's vanished no doubt using his speed.

 

"Me and Raven weren't the only ones affected by the particle accelerator explosion, were we?," Barry asked angrily storming into the cortex, me following him having managed to catch him up.

"We don't know for sure," Wells answered. 

"You said the city was safe, that there was no residual danger. But that's not true so what really happened that night?."

"Well, the accelerator went active. We all felt like heroes and then....it all went wrong. The dimensional barrier ruptured unleashing unknown energies into our world. Antimatter, dark energy, x-elements."

"Those are all theoretical."

"And how theoretical are the two of you?. We mapped the dispersion throughout and around Central City though we have no way of knowing exactly what or who was exposed."

"So we don't know how many others were affected then?. Well, that's fan-freakin-tastic," I sighed, rubbing my eyes. 

"We've been searching for other meta-humans like yourself."

"Meta-humans?."

"That's what we're calling them," Caitlin said.

"Well, we both saw one today. He's a bank robber, supposedly dead. And he can control the weather."

"This just keeps getting cooler," Cisco grinned. 

"This is not cool. All right?. A man died. Mardon must have gotten his powers the same way we did from the storm clouds. He's still out there. We have to stop him before he hurts anyone else," Barry said.

"Barry, that's a job for the police," Wells said. 

"I work for the police."

"As a forensic assistant."

"You're responsible for this. For him."

"What's important is you. And Raven. Not me. I lost everything. I lost my company. I lost my reputation. I lost my freedom. And then you broke your arm and it healed in three hours. Inside your body, in Raven's aswell, could be a map to a whole new world. Genetic therapies, vaccines, medicines, treasures buried deep within your cells. And we cannot risk losing everything because you WANT TO GO OUT AND PLAY HERO. You're not a hero. Raven is not a hero. You're just two people who were struck by lightning."

"You're wrong, you know. We may not be heroes, but we're the only ones who can stop Mardon from hurting anybody else. You didn't see what happened out there, none of you did. You think the police can stop him?. We'll see what happens when one of them ends up hurt or worse," I said angrily, turning around and storming out unable to stop the tears from breaking free, feeling them roll down my face. 

I couldn't stay in this place, this city for one more second, not after what Wells said. There's only place, one person I could turn to right now, that train of thought, that determination taking me there within seconds. 

But what if Wells was right. What if I'm not a hero?.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am altering the Barry/Oliver scene that's in that episode to Raven/Oliver. And things don't go the way they were planned.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There will be some adult content in this chapter. Even though this is still a Cisco x Raven story, it will be very slowburn.

Was coming here really such a good decision to make?. Believe me, I'd been asking myself that question a good few times since coming here, wondering why I would turn to him instead of the one person I want above anything else to be able to fully confide in.

I wasn't surprised at all to see the shock on Oliver's face when I'd knocked on his door, this being the first time we've seen each other in nine months, the last time we'd spent time in each other's company being next to my father's grave. If this had been any normal occasion, I would have laughed seeing the expression on his face. And then I would have felt bad for laughing at him and would probably have apologised at least five or six times, something which was a pretty annoying habit of mine. 

Deep down, I still have no idea why we share this....bond as strongly as we do, even more considering I wasn't exactly fond of him when we were growing up because of how he acted. It wasn't impossible not to see how different and changed he was after five years stranded on some island after that awful shipwreck. And to know that not only his father had died, but Sara Lance aswell just made the whole tragedy even more tragic, her having been a friend of mine though not especially close. 

It was even more painful for her sister Laurel, finding out her sister had been on that ship and that her and Oliver had been messing around behind her back probably for months, them having supposed to have been in a relationship. 

I still remember the day I'd heard that Oliver had miraculously returned, that he hadn't perished in that storm, that he'd been alive all these missing years. I mean, it was hardly impossible not to see it on all the news channels and in the papers. First thing I wanted to do was kill him for breaking Laurel's heart, second thing was to just touch him, to make doubly sure he was alive and not some cruel phantom.

I'd ended up doing the second one, the look on his mother's face, in her eyes stopping me from wrapping my hands around his neck and breaking it. Even though he wasn't a ghost, that look in his eyes haunted me, had driven away all the hate I'd held for him. 

Then there were the horrific scars he'd somehow ended up with on his torso, on his back, like someone had tortured him. I hadn't stuck around very long after them, had fled home, completely breaking down. And from that moment, I hadn't hated Oliver Queen. 

One month after his mysterious return home, I'd discovered my father's body. Two months later, I'd discovered he was the hooded vigilante of Starling City, our very own Robin Hood minus the robbing the rich to feed the poor part. And he'd saved my life, saved me from an eternity in a prison cell.

Me and Oliver had this connection, this bond not just because he'd stopped me from becoming exactly like the monster who'd taken my dad fron me. Just like me, he'd lost not one, but both parents, his mother having been murdered in front of him and Thea. And just like me, he'd blamed himself for her death like I blamed myself for my father's death. Maybe that's really why I'd decided to turn to him instead of Cisco.

"Hmmm?," I mumbled, hearing Oliver say something to me, my eyes still fixed to that same spot in between my boots, feeling him place something into my hand, his fingers positioning mine around it so I wouldn't drop it.

"It looked like you needed something stronger then coffee. Raven, look at me."

"What....what if Dr. Wells is right?. Maybe....maybe I'm not a hero. Maybe I am just some girl who was struck by lightning. Worse, maybe I'm nothing more then a damn freak."

The glass gets taken out of my hand, hearing him put it down on the glass-topped table. Then I feel his hand move over mine, the warmth coming from his skin making me finally move slowly to look at him, our eyes meeting and locking. 

"You wanna know what I think?. I don't think that bolt of lightning struck you. I think it chose you. Raven, the last thing you are is a freak. You were clearly given these powers for a reason, both you and Barry."

"But....but what if I can't be like you, Ollie. What if I can't be some kind of....vigilante let alone a hero."

"Yeah, you're right. And wrong. You can be better then me. Cause you can inspire people in way that I never could. Watching over your city like a guardian angel. You....can be a hero."

I sighed heavily, my eyes drifting away from his, dropping down to stare at my now trembling hands. The next thing I feel his hand cupping my chin forcing me to look back up at him seeing how suddenly intensely he seems to be staring at me.

What the hell is going on?. Why am I letting him touch me like this when all we've ever been is friends, when I'm in love with Cisco?. I need to put a stop to this before both of us end up making the biggest mistake of our lives. But why am I not making that move?. 

I don't know who makes that first move, who it was who started the kiss, it seeming to come out of nowhere, still knowing full well this is a mistake. But it hits me like a damn bullet, how truly lonely I've been in spite of all my friends at S.T.A.R Labs, my work, Iris and Joe's friendship and support. 

It feels like it's been an eternity since I've felt affection much deeper then friendship, since I've allowed myself to feel true pleasure, to feel somebody kissing me like this. It's been nearly two years since I'd been with a man, that one-night stand with that man I'd met in that bar still buried at the back of my mind. But this feels different, less seedy and dirty, more sensual and passionate. 

I end up on his lap, the kiss growing in intensity, our tongues clashing, feeling his hands run down my back slowly then ending up on my ass. And I can't seem to stop myself from grinding myself on top of him, feeling his erection rub deliciously into my core making me groan loudly. 

I don't know if it's because of my newfound powers, but everything feels heightened somehow, like I could every little sensation a billion times more intense. And cause of this I can feel myself already on the brink of exploding, trying hard to hold it off not wanting to come until I feel him inside me. Shit, what the hell is happening to me?.

I feel my back slam up against the nearest wall in what feels like no time at all, his mouth leaving mine diving into my neck, his hands grabbing mine and slamming them into the wall above my head, his lips moving slowly down my skin, one hand leaving my own, moving down to the button of my jeans, unfastening it then pulling down the zip. 

"O....Oliver?. P....please," I whimpered, my eyes closed, tilting my head back further feeling his lips move round to my throat, the hand that's still holding mine above my head moving so his fingers are linked with my own.

He doesn't say anything, his other hand moving inside my now open jeans, his thumb rubbing my clit through my panties making me cry out. Then his fingers move into that lacey black material, one slipping inside me quickly followed by a second. And I hear his own groan join with mine, his mouth moving back to mine, his eyes boring into me.

"Fuck, you're soaking, Raven," he groaned, pushing his fingers in deeper, pumping them slowly then beginning to pick up speed, curling them up inside me, hitting my g-spot.

"Shit....fuck," I cursed, my orgasm building and building, rocking my hips in time with his fingers. 

Just as I'm about to explode, he stops, pulling his fingers out making me groan loudly, frustrated. Then I get spun around so my back is facing him making me gasp, his hands yanking my top over head, it being thrown across the room, those hands moving to my breasts, cupping them, having decided not to wear a bra, his thumbs rubbing my nipples, his mouth brushing the top of my spine.  
Then he starts to kiss down my back slowly, his hands skimming down my stomach then moving to my jeans pulling them down along with my panties. 

"Oliver!," I cry out, his mouth dropping to between my legs, his tongue plunging inside me, his hands moving back up to my breasts. 

And I feel my release come within seconds, crying out, my hands balling up into fists, feeling him take in everything I've given him. Then I feel him pull out of me, getting back up, hearing him undo his pants wanting to turn around and look at him, prevented from doing so by his body pushing mine harder into the wall, his cock rubbing against my ass. 

"Raven....are you sure about this?," he asked, his hand cupping my cheek turning my face around to look at him, kissing me softly. 

"Don't you dare stop now, Mr. Queen," I whisper, still breathing a little heavily. 

"Wait, do....do I need...."

"No, I'm....I'm clean, don't worry."

He nods kissing me softly, his knees nudging my legs apart a little before pushing into me slowly, both of us groaning. I whimper a little, it obviously having been a while, him being quite generous in size, him allowing me to adjust to him. I nod at him letting him now it's okay to move, him starting to move his hips. 

I turn my face away from him, spreading my hands out on the wall above my head, curving my back allowing him to hit me deeper, crying out. One hand moves to grip my hip a little roughly, the other moving into my hair, twisting some locks around his fingers, slamming harder and faster into me. I can feel the telltale signs of my second orgasm approaching, my fingers moving to his own in my hair, both our fingers locking, mine getting moved back to the wall. 

"OLIVER!," I scream, my walls tightening around him, coming harder then I did the first time. 

"Raven....fuck," he growls loudly, reaching his own release seconds after my own, spilling inside me, his hand dropping mine then moving to my face, cupping my hot, clammy cheek, turning my face round to meet his, his lips finding my own.

What the hell have I done?. Even though I know Cisco doesn't feel the things I feel for him, I feel like I've betrayed him. How was he ever gonna love me now?. Just like I'd been fearing, this was a massive mistake. And I fear the consequences.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry about such a late update, guys. This is kind of a small chapter before I get back into the action.

I have always loved sunrises. As a kid growing up, I would often wake up while it was still dark so that I could watch night turn into day. And to the annoyance of my dad though he would never show it, I would wake him up so he could watch the approach of dawn with me normally with a couple of mugs of hot chocolate with plenty of marshmallows in them.

As I got older, I would sort of come to think of the rising sun as something I could lean on as weird and strange as it may sound. It would help me think, help clear my mind whenever I had far too much weighing on it. I haven't watched the sun rise, not the same as I used to, since before my father was ripped out of my life. It just hurts far too much to watch the lightening of the sky without someone to share it with me with those mugs of hot chocolate and pink and white marshmallows and the blanket that would always be my other companion. 

In fact, this is the first time I've found the strength and courage to watch the sunrise, it having been a lot longer then my time absent from the world. And just like I was expecting, it still hurts watching the changing of the sky of Central City without my dad sitting next to me, that pain feeling all over again like a fresh wound not that the old one had ever really healed. 

The truth is that that sunrise wasn't helping, wasn't making it feel any less like all my problems are closing in on me like walls in a rapidly shrinking room like that damn trap in the fifth Saw film. 

What had happened last night was something that should never, ever have happened especially knowing how I feel about Cisco and how Oliver feels about Felicity. Going there was the stupidest decision I'd ever made and yet deep down I don't feel bad that it had happened. But I know it can never happen again and I can never tell Felicity. The last thing I want is to lose her friendship, not when it's so special to me. 

I just wish I hadn't taken the coward's route as soon as it had ended, choosing to run away instead of talking things out with Oliver. I don't feel any less dirty then I did that night at the bar two years ago, walking away from that man whose name I didn't even know. 

I know I need to go back, talk with Oliver, apologise for what had happened and hopefully still keep my friendship with him. My hand moves to my cheek, wiping away the tear that I feel escape from my eye before it can make a trail down my cheek, letting out a shaky sigh, still staring up at the sky.

I'm beginning to feel more and more that I wish I'd never awoken from that damn coma, that it was me in that cold grave instead of Ronnie. Wells was right. I'm no hero, can never be one. Now I'm nothing more then a fucking freak, that thought leading me to break down, sobbing, my face burying in my knees, wrapping my arms around them. 

"Raven?. Hey, what's wrong?. How long have you been sat down there?."

"Oh, h....hey, B....Barr," I muttered in between my sobs, looking up at him seeing he's stood over me, a look of concern on his face, watching him crouch down beside me.

"Why are you crying?."

I don't answer him, finding I don't know what to say, moving to him fast, wrapping my arms around him, feeling his own wrap around my upper back, my head resting on his chest. I can feel those imaginary walls close in on me even more, feeling like I was suffocating, like nothing Barry could say or do could make those walls crumble and break. 

"Ssshhh, it's okay. Raven, whatever it is, whatever is troubling you you know you can talk to me about it."

"I....I feel like I'm suffocating, Barry. Like all my problems have turned into walls and are closing in on me. I....I don't think I can do this. I'm not as strong as you," I whispered, my sobs finally dying away, sniffling.

"That's not true. You, you're....the strongest person I know. I know that feeling, like the whole world has turned its back on you. I know you still miss your dad. I still miss my mom, wish she was here right now just like you wish your dad."

I pull away from him, moving my head so it's resting on the back of the tree I'm sat up against, my eyes moving back to him watching him sit down next to me, our hands meeting and joining, our fingers intertwining. Then I move back to him, resting my head on his shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh, my free hand wiping my tears away.

"Can....can I tell you something?. And promise me you won't tell anybody else this."

"I promise. You know you can tell me anything, no matter how bad it is."

"I....I went to see Oliver last night. I just wanted to talk to him, confide in him, but things....kind of went the other way."

"What....what do you mean?."

"I....I slept with him. I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear. One thing just....led to another and I feel horrible about it. Worse thing is I ran away without talking to him about it."

I don't hear him say anything, lifting my head off his shoulder, turning to him, the look on his face one of what I recognise to be confusion making me regret telling him. 

"You slept with Oliver?. So....you and Cisco aren't....together?," he frowned.. 

"N....no. It was a stupid mistake, Barr, one I will never make again. Please, please promise m....wait, why do you think me and Cisco are together?."

"Just the way you are around each other. Raven, I've seen the way you look at him. It's that same look I give Iris. You love him, don't you?."

"Okay, okay, I admit it. I do love him, I always have. But....but he doesn't feel the same way," I sighed, looking down at the ground.

"Have you actually asked him?."

"Have you told Iris how you feel?. Barry, please don't lecture me when we both know you're too scared to tell her. I'm....I'm sorry. I shouldn't take this out on you. How can I tell him now after what happened between me and Oliver?. I....I can't tell him, at least not yet."

"It's okay. Look, I promise what you just told me stays between us," he smiled softly, our eyes meeting, me nodding at him, his arm wrapping back around me, my head moving back to rest on his shoulder, closing my eyes. 

And they snap open a few seconds later, trying to conceal my gasp, that nightmare I'd suffered a few hours ago flashing back through my mind, that dream having led me to spend an hour under a freezing cold shower, trying to calm my raging nerves. 

It wasn't a nightmare about the night my father was murdered. It was something else entirely and it was scaring me a lot more. Somehow it had felt more real, like it was happening while I was awake not asleep. Whoever that....man was, I can't stop feeling like he wasn't something my subconscious had created. 

He feels real, those red eyes still fixed in my mind, yellow all around him, on his face and body. 

Whoever that man in yellow is....I feel like he's still after me. How the hell can he be real?.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry again about the late update. Thanks for all the support so far.

The last place I want to be is here right now, the pain over what had happened last night still staying fresh and raw with me. Quite frankly I'd rather be in my place drowning my sorrows in a tub or two of Ben and Jerry's, one of my favourite dodgy horror flicks on the tv.

But I know that's the last place I should be, the sweet cold treat and images of fake blood not really helping like they should do. And I know Barry, Caitlin and Cisco need me right now. I have to prove to myself that I can be the hero, the saviour that Oliver says I can be. Most of all I need to convince myself I'm not a freak, same as Barry. The one thing I refuse to let myself become is a coward. 

"I've been going over unsolved cases from the past nine months. And there's been a sharp increase in unexplained deaths and missing people. Your meta-humans have been busy. I'm not blaming you. I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen. I know you all lost something. But me and Raven need your help to catch Mardon and anyone else out there like him."

"Barry's right, guys. We....need your help. We can't do this without you," I sighed looking up from the boxes of files Barry brought to S.T.A.R Labs, looking from Caitlin to Cisco.

"If we're gonna do this....I have something that might help," Cisco smiled, it being impossible to stop that smile from bringing out my own.

-x-

It's impossible to stop my jaw from dropping the instant my eyes land on what Cisco has taken me and Barry to see, my hand moving to cover my chest, feeling how hard and fast my heart seems to be beating. Clearly Cisco has been up most of the night doing this, that thought making me quickly start to smile, my eyes drifting over to Barry seeing his expression is more or less the same as my own.

"Something I've been playing with. They're designed to replace the turnouts firefighters traditionally wear. I thought if S.T.A.R Labs did something nice for the community maybe people wouldn't be so angry at Dr. Wells anymore."

"This....this is unbelievable," I muttered, walking closer to the two suits, taking a closer look at them.

Both suits have the same design in the middle, the single lightning bolt in a circle, the symbol of our powers. The only difference is the colour, one in red and yellow, the other in white and yellow. But I know automatically which is my suit, the design looking a little more feminine, the headpiece slightly different from Barry's, knowing this is so to allow my hair to fly free. 

"But....how is it gonna help me and Barr?."

"They're made of a reinforced tri-polymer. It's heat and abrasive resistant to withstand your moving at high-velocity speeds. And the aerodynamic design should help you maintain control. Plus, it has built in sensors so we can track your vitals and stay in contact with you from here."

"Thanks. Now how do we find Mardon?," Barry asked. 

"I retasked S.T.A.R Labs' satellite to track meteorological abnormalities over Central City. We just got a ping. Atmospheric pressure dropped 20 millibars in a matter of seconds. I've tracked it to a farm just west of the city," Caitlin explained. 

"Hey, you okay?," Barry asked, his hand finding mine and squeezing it, snapping me out of the faraway daze I wasn't aware I'd even fallen into, our eyes meeting. 

"Y....yeah. I'm just.....not sure I can do this, Barr," I whispered, staring back at him.

"You can do this, Raven. I believe in you. We all do. You just need to start believing in yourself."

"Thanks, Barry," I smiled moving into him, feeling him return my hug, my eyes closing, hoping and wishing I could do what he believes I can do.

It was time I stopped being scared, like I've been for the past two years. It's time I became a hero.

-x-

By the time me and Barry have arrived at the old farm Caitlin had tracked Mardon to, the situation was worse then either of us could have imagined. Worse of all, Joe and Eddie were there, both of them in danger from Mardon, the great, big massive twister courtesy of him, making me feel exactly like I'd ended up in that damn film of the same name. 

I manage to speed in just in time to stop a piece of the roof of the barn from hitting Joe, knocking it away as hard as I can, sending it flying in the opposite direction, the strong wind blowing my white hair away from my face. And I can just about make out the shocked expression on Joe's face, his eyes moving between me and Barry. 

"Barry. Raven. This thing's getting closer. Wind speeds are 200 miles per hour and increasing. Guys, can you hear me?," Cisco's voice asked through our headpieces. 

"Yeah. Loud and clear," Barry answered.

"If it keeps up, this could become an F-5 tornado."

"Okay, that's really bad. It's heading towards the city. How do we stop it?," I asked loudly, the noise of the twister making it very hard to hear or talk. 

"What....what if we unravel it?," Barry asked. 

"How the hell are you gonna do that?," Caitlin asked. 

"By running around it in the opposite direction. Cut off its legs."

"They'd have to clock 700 miles per hour to do that," Cisco said. 

"You may not be able to handle those speeds. You'll die," Caitlin said, worry evident in her voice. 

"No, we won't. Not if we work together. We have to try," I shouted, turning and looking at Barry nodding, him nodding back to me. 

Then we start to run, speeding up to the twister then starting to run around it, picking up speed. But it doesn't work, the power of the twister too strong, me and Barry ending up flung away, ending up on the ground, both of us panting heavily.

"We can't do this. Guys, he's too powerful," I cried, breathing heavily. 

"Raven, Barry. You can do this. You were right. I am responsible for all of this. So many people have been hurt because of me. And when I looked at you two, all I saw was another potential victim of my hubris. And yes, I created this madness. But you....you can stop it. You can do this. Now run, Barry and Raven. Run!," Dr. Wells said, his voice joining Cisco and Caitlin's. 

I jump up, speeding back in, running round and round the anomaly, glancing beside me seeing Barry run with me. And I stretch out my hand, finding his own, joining both our powers together, both of us speeding faster and faster, the strength and power of the twister starting to falter. 

I let out a scream, my hand dropping from Barry's, feeling a rush of power flood through me suddenly finding I'm somehow running faster then him. And I throw my hand out towards Mardon, feeling that power rush through me,, watching the lightning bolt fly out, slamming into him, throwing him to the ground, a scream bursting out of his mouth, the twister dying out, everything going calm.

I collapse to the ground on my hands and knees, breathing heavily, my eyes moving to my right hand, raising it up in front of me, starting to tremble, still feeling a tingle in my fingers, no idea what just happened. 

I slowly look over at Mardon watching him get up off the ground slowly, walking over to us shakily, his hand pulling a gun out of his pants, pointing it at us.

"Hey. I didn't think there was anyone else like me."

"We're not like you. You're a murderer," Barry said, staring back at him.

I close my eyes, shaking harder, those eyes flying open fast hearing the gunshot, feeling no pain like I was expecting, watching Mardon drop to the ground in front of us.

I turn around finding that gunshot came from Joe, his hand clearly shaking, his eyes moving from me to Barry, clearly knowing it's us, our masked faces bared to him. And he drops to his knees in front of us, his hands moving to our shoulders, almost as if to make sure we were real.

"Barry?. Raven?," Caitlin asked. 

"We're okay. It's over."

-x-

"What you can do, both of you....it was the lightning bolts?," Joe asked, not looking at me and Barry, watching the clean up operation at the farm where things had gone down the previous night. 

"More or less," Barry answered. 

"I'm sorry, Barry. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. And I called you crazy for chasing the impossible. But you really did see something that night your mom died. And your dad is innocent. I need you to promise me something, both of you. I don't want you telling Iris about anything you can do. Any of it. I want her safe. Promise me."

"Yeah."

"I promise," I nodded, not really liking what Joe wanted us to do, not wanting to keep this from my friend, not liking secrets.

I just know keeping this from her was a really bad idea, one I know is gonna blow up in both our faces. Mind you, I'm hardly a good judge of character, keeping my feelings for Cisco bottled up inside me. I don't know how much longer I can keep this hidden from him.

After what had gone down last night, stopping Mardon, saving Joe and Eddie, nearly losing my life as well as Barry, maybe today is the day to finally come clean, tell Cisco exactly how I feel. 

That's if I feel brave enough.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am planning on crossing over to Supergirl later on in the story. I know the show didn't actually start until after The Flash, but I have some huge things planned for Raven. She will turn out to be a lot more then what she appears. And I am skipping past a couple of episodes cause I'm not that crazy about them.

The screams are what wake me up, those screams I know can only be my own, my sleep once again disturbed by my nightmares. I'm very quickly starting to believe that I will never be able to get more then a few hours sleep, my new meta-human and protector of Central City life not exactly helping either.

I unleash a shaky sigh, my still trembling hands moving to my black and white hair, my fingers brushing the damp locks out of my hot, clammy face, turning to look at the clock on my bedside table letting out a groan seeing the red, glowing numbers flash 2.35 at me, meaning I'd once again achieved two, maybe three hours sleep. 

As exhausted as I am, that overwhelming need to sink back down into the pillow, close my eyes and pray to whoever may listening up above that I can sleep the rest of the night without that nightmare deciding to pay a visit, the truth is I'm scared to. If anything, it feels like my nightmares are only getting worse ever since I awoke from that nine-month coma to a whole new world, a world full of speedsters, multiple men and gas monsters. 

Ever since seeing that man in yellow in my dreams over a week ago, I feel like he's a constant companion of my sleep subconscious. The last three nights, his visits to my nightmares had gotten more threatening as well as terrifying. Instead of seeing my father's body lying in that living room, blood all around him like a river, I saw the man in yellow knelt over him, his hand through his chest. And all three times, I would awake just as he turned to look at me, his red eyes burning into me.

Now....now I would feel those inhuman eyes on me everywhere I go, even though I know there's no way he could be real unless somehow he was really Freddy Kreuger and I was living on Elm Street. I feel like he's haunting me, my own personal phantom and I don't know what to do. Worse of all, I'm too scared to tell any of my friends at S.T.A.R Labs, worried none of them would believe me especially with what's been going on with my newfound abilities. 

I don't realise I'm crying at first until I feel the tears begin to stream down my face, my palms moving up to wipe them away. For the first time in my life, I wish I was still living in my old home, living my old life, all of my troubles and worries a million miles away from me. 

My first thought is to go see Felicity, her always having been there for me even more so after my dad died. But the last thing I want to do is go bother her at two in the morning what with that still unresolved issue with Oliver hanging over my head like an anvil ready to drop at any second. And I still can't find the strength to go see him, still feeling both guilty and embarrassed that what had happened between us had happened. 

But I can't stay in this apartment right now, in these lonely rooms, needing the company of the moon and stars and the fresh night air, try to at least attempt to clear my mind. I want anything but to be alone right now, that desire leading me to get out of bed, getting dressed in a flash, changing into the first thing I happen to have lying on the chair in the corner of my room, my favourite comfy flowing dress not bothering with any shoes, preferring to walk outside barefoot for some reason.

I find I'm still shaking when I close the door to my apartment, that nightmare still refusing to leave my mind, my eyes slowing closing. They open slowly a few seconds later, my hand moving to the back of my neck, my entire body going cold, that feeling that I'm being watched hitting me again. 

I let my hand drop to my side slowly turning around, my eyes dropping to the ground, almost too terrified to let myself look up. And those dark blue orbs land on a pair of boots, yellow boots, my trembling getting harder. I force my eyes to slowly move up, my back pressing up against the door to my apartment, my hand moving over my mouth, muffling the scream I can feel is threatening to break free. 

This....this can't be happening, can't be possible. Clearly I'm still asleep, this being nothing but one of my nightmares, my free hand moving to my waist, pinching myself, begging myself to wake up. How can this man, this....whatever the hell he is be real?. I'm looking right at the man in yellow from my nightmares and I'm wide awake.

"Who....who are you?. What do you want from me?," I whispered, not finding the strength to speak any louder, my hand dropping from my mouth, watching him tilt his head slightly, those burning red eyes running over me slowly, like he was examining me.

"You'll find out soon....engel," he said, his voice deep and distorted, staring intensely at me. 

Then he disappears, leaving me alone, still shaking, my vision starting to blur, feeling my legs give way underneath me, collapsing to the ground, my hands moving over my face, breaking down, feeling all over again like I was going insane, my sobs growing in intensity.

There's only one person I desperately want to see right now, my hands dropping from my face which I know no doubt looks red and puffy right now, pushing myself up off the ground slowly starting to make my way to the apartment six doors down, knocking on the door quietly, knowing I'll probably get no answer as it's so early in the morning. But the door swings opens a couple of minutes later. And I can't help but snort as shaken up as I'm feeling seeing the baseball bat in his hand.

"Seriously, Ramon?. Clearly you don't watch enough horror movies cause you know nobody would knock on your door if they were intending on harming you."

"R...Raven?. Do you know what time it is?," Cisco muttered, his hand dropping the bat, his voice sounding a little croaky which I know is cause I've woken him up.

"I'm....I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you. I'll....I'll go," I sighed, feeling both guilty for waking him and for poking fun at him, turning to go.

I stop feeling his hand grab mine turning back to look at him, unable to stop the sob from breaking free, moving to him fast, feeling him gather me up in his arms, pulling me inside his apartment, shutting the door after me. The next thing I feel is him picking me up bridal style carrying me through to what I'm guessing is the living room, unable to see through my sobs.

I feel him lower me onto the couch, my arms dropping from around him, my eyes dropping to my shaking hands, feeling his arm wrap back around me, his fingers brushing my hair back away from my face.

"I'm....I'm sorry."

"Don't do that. Don't apologise for being upset. But whatever it is I know it's scaring the hell out of you. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I....I think somebody is after me, Cisco."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This won't be the only time Raven comes face to face with the Reverse Flash.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short-ish chapter. Some things will happen between Cisco and Raven marking a massive change in their relationship. It was originally meant to happen a lot later, but I've changed my mind cause I love them as a pair.

I regret saying those words the instant they're out of my mouth, knowing all too well that he wouldn't believe me. I don't exactly believe myself, still more then a little scared that I truly was going insane like I did those first few days after my dad's death.

At the same time, I'm glad I'm finally letting this all out, that it was Cisco I was telling instead of anybody else. I feel like I've been keeping this inside me for years instead of a week, not knowing how much longer I could keep this hidden from any of my friends. I don't think I could handle not being believed, being made to feel even more like an insane, crazy person.

"Wait, what do you mean somebody is after you?."

"I....I knew you wouldn't believe me, Cisco. I should never have told you," I cried, looking away from him, my elbows resting on my knees, running my hands through my black and white locks. 

"Hey, I never said I didn't believe you. Raven....please, just talk to me."

I drop my hands turning to look at him, our eyes locking, letting out a shaky sigh, feeling his hand move to grab one of my own, squeezing it gently. 

"I....I've been having these dreams, well, nightmares for about a week now. I....I would see this man knelt over my father's body, his hand through his chest. I thought naturally that it was just a nightmare, that that man wasn't real. Then....then I....I saw him tonight, stood outside my apartment. Somehow, he's real. I....I don't know what's happening to me, Cisco. I feel like I'm going insane."

I get gathered up in his arms, breaking down all over again, my own arms wrapping around him, burying my face in his warm chest, feeling all over again like my emotions were like a broken dam, not knowing if they'll ever be repaired. For the first time since losing my dad, I feel terrified. How the hell can I help protect the city when I can't even protect myself?."

"I....I can't d...do this, Cisco," I sobbed, feeling his hand run up and down my back slowly. 

"Ssshhh. What do you mean?."

"I can't be a hero. I can't be out there saving people when I can't even save myself. I can't be a hero, not like Barry is."

"Raven....look at me."

I just shake my head afraid that if I did then I would finally break, would finally tell him the one secret I've been keeping bottled up inside me all these years. I feel his arms drop from around me then his hand moving to my chin, lifting my head up, forcing me to have to lower my eyes, still refusing to look at him. 

The next thing I feel is his lips brushing my forehead gently making me let out a heavy, shaky sigh, feeling myself very quickly start to weaken. Then I feel his hand cup my cheek, his thumb running over my cheekbone gently. I finally feel myself cave in, my eyes moving up to meet his own, feeling another tear escape, it getting wiped away by his thumb. 

"You're wrong, you know?. You can do this. I believe in you. I've always believed in you, we all do. Raven, you've been through so much, lost so much. And you're....amazing. You've always been a fighter, a hero. This city needs you just as much as it needs Barry. I....need you," he said, his other hand moving to my other cheek, cradling my face. 

I slowly start to smile, moving my forehead to his own, resting it against him, my eyes fluttering closed, feeling one of his hands move to my hair, running his fingers through my locks. I lift my forehead off his, my eyes slowly opening, finding my mouth is a couple of inches away from his, my nose brushing against his. 

I need to stop this, scared that if I let myself give into those feelings I've kept bottled up for two years then it would only lead to heartache. And I feel myself pulling away from him, going to get up off the couch, stopping from doing so by the hand wrapping around my wrist, pulling me back towards him. The second I feel his mouth on my own, I completely give in, not wanting to fight my feelings for him anymore. 

I end up on his lap, my legs wrapping around his waist, the kiss deepening fast, feeling his hands on my face, his palms cupping my cheeks, my own hands pressed up against his chest. But as much as I'm enjoying his kiss, I force myself to pull away from him, both of us breathing a little heavily. 

"I'm....I'm sorry. I just thought...."

I stop him talking, my fingers moving to his mouth, brushing them along the lips I've been in love with ever since he smiled at me. I drop my fingers moving back into him, kissing him softly, my eyes closing, my hand moving to his hair, my fingers moving into some of his long locks. 

"Cisco, you....you have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that. But....but I understand if it was a mistake. I don't expect you to feel the same," I sighed, moving off him, getting up off the couch, starting to pace a little. 

I feel his hand grab my wrist stopping me from pacing ending up back in his arms, his mouth slamming against my own, us ending up back on the couch, him on top of me, the kiss turning more and more intense with every second. He's the one to break it this time, his eyes boring deeply into my own.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this. Raven, I...I've loved you from the moment you walked into S.T.A.R Labs. I should have told you two years ago. I just....thought it was one-way," he smiled softly, his fingers brushing my cheek gently. 

"Guess we've both been idiots then. Cause I love you too," I grinned, lifting my head up, my lips finding his again. 

For the first time since before that night those two years ago, I feel truly happy. I just wish I could forget about that man in yellow, what he wants with me. How can it be possible that he's another speedster?.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologise about such a late update. I have been thinking a lot about this series which I have altered the title to as Raven will turn out to be a lot more then what she thought she was. Even though it's strictly a Cisco/Raven story, there will be some Snart/Raven thanks to her having a bit of a past with him.

"Raven. Raven, wake up."

My eyes fly open fast, my breathing coming out in hard, heavy gulps, unable to stop my cries, feeling my tears mixing in with the sweat coating my face, some of my black and white locks sticking to my hot, clammy skin.

The first thing that hits me is that I'm not in my apartment and definitely not in my bed making me start to panic a little. Then I realise that I'm not alone, my memories rushing back to me, remembering me going to Cisco's place, him being the only person I felt I could turn to after seeing the yellow-clad man from my dreams outside my front door.

I can't seem to stop my heart from sinking a little wondering if what happened between us was either A. A mistake he instantly regrets or B. Nothing but a dream. 

That fear makes me break down even more, feeling a hand run down my hair slowly, that simple touch being enough to calm me down at least a little. I just wish it was enough to make me forget about the nightmare that had swooped in and sank its fangs into me once again. 

"Hey, hey, ssshhh. It's okay. You....wanna talk about it?."

"When....when will it end, Cisco?. I'm just so, so tired of being scared to simply close my eyes. I'm just sick of being scared full stop. And now knowing this man from my nightmares is real, I'm starting to get scared to even be awake. I....I need to get out of here," I cried, getting up off the couch, forgetting I was still on it when I'd fallen asleep.

"Wait, what do you mean you need to get out of here?. You....you don't mean Central City?," Cisco asked getting up, moving over to me fast, his hands reaching out and grabbing my own.

"I should never have moved here. This was a mistake. I....I can't stay here knowing this man in yellow is after me. I need to leave this city, go somewhere he won't find me."

"Raven, please. Stop and think about this. Running away isn't gonna solve anything. Look, I....I think we need to tell the team."

"I....I can't. What if they don't believe me?. What if they think I'm crazy?. Please. I can't tell them, at least not yet," I sighed, shaking, staring at him, silently pleading with him to agree with me, moving up close to him, my hands dropping from his own, moving my arms around his waist.

He lets out a sigh, his own arms wrapping around me, pulling me in towards him, holding me gently, his cheek resting on the top of my head, my own resting on his chest.

"I'm....I'm sorry. You're....you're right. I can't just leave, not now, not after what happened between us. It....it did happen, right?," I mumbled, hearing him let out a chuckle. 

"Well, I should hope so. It would be a bit crushing if we'd both dreamt it," he laughed, making me giggle. 

"Then....maybe we should convince ourselves that it did," I whispered, lifting my head up off his chest, looking up into his eyes, feeling his hand move to cup my cheek, his thumb running along my bottom lip making me shudder. 

"I love you."

"I love you."

He grinned, moving his thumb from my lip to my cheek, his mouth moving to my own, moving his hand to my hair, his other resting on my lower back.

This kiss feels completely different to the one we'd shared a few hours ago even though that was the very first kiss we'd shared. Instead of being slow and gentle, this feels fast and desperate, like even though this wasn't the first time we'd been more intimate then we'd ever been in our two years of friendship, it feels as if we were finally breaking free from the chains that were holding us back from one another. 

Our mouths get broken apart by the squeal bursting out of me feeling Cisco lift me up off the floor, my legs wrapping around his waist, him starting to carry me out of the room, carrying me through to where I know is his bedroom. 

And I can't seem to prevent this....sinking feeling from hitting the pit of my stomach as well as my heart. As desperately as I want him, I can't ignore the tiny part of me that screams at me, telling me I'm not ready.

"Hey, hey, look at me."

"Hmmm?," I mumbled, not even realising I'd drifted miles away, my eyes moving back to his own, him having lowered me onto his quite generous sized bed before lying down next to me, his hand on the back of my head, his fingers finding some of my white locks, playing with them. 

"Look, we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. I'm not gonna push you or pressure you. I'd be perfectly happy just to hold you all night," he said softly, his other hand finding my own, slipping his fingers through mine.

"I'm....I'm sorry. My....my fucking head's all over the place right now. I do want you, Cis, but I don't feel....ready. Just...give me time, okay?," I sighed, moving closer to him, resting my head on his chest, our joined hands resting on his stomach.

"I can wait. I've waited two years, think I can wait a little longer."

I giggle looking up at him, lifting my head off his chest, kissing him gently then moving my head back where it was, feeling my eyes begin to droop, sleep finally swooping in and claiming me.

The last thing that crosses through my mind before sleep settles in is the one thing I know stopped me from becoming more intimate with Cisco. Looks like me and Oliver finally needed that long overdue talk.

I need my friend back and I'm tired of running away from that stupid, idiotic decision we both made those few days back. Looks like I'll be making another journey to Starling City a lot sooner then I'd planned.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologise about such a late update. I have been thinking a lot about this series which I have altered the title to as Raven will turn out to be a lot more then what she thought she was. Even though it's strictly a Cisco/Raven story, there will be some Snart/Raven thanks to her having a bit of a past with him.

"Raven. Raven, wake up."

My eyes fly open fast, my breathing coming out in hard, heavy gulps, unable to stop my cries, feeling my tears mixing in with the sweat coating my face, some of my black and white locks sticking to my hot, clammy skin.

The first thing that hits me is that I'm not in my apartment and definitely not in my bed making me start to panic a little. Then I realise that I'm not alone, my memories rushing back to me, remembering me going to Cisco's place, him being the only person I felt I could turn to after seeing the yellow-clad man from my dreams outside my front door.

I can't seem to stop my heart from sinking a little wondering if what happened between us was either A. A mistake he instantly regrets or B. Nothing but a dream. 

That fear makes me break down even more, feeling a hand run down my hair slowly, that simple touch being enough to calm me down at least a little. I just wish it was enough to make me forget about the nightmare that had swooped in and sank its fangs into me once again. 

"Hey, hey, ssshhh. It's okay. You....wanna talk about it?."

"When....when will it end, Cisco?. I'm just so, so tired of being scared to simply close my eyes. I'm just sick of being scared full stop. And now knowing this man from my nightmares is real, I'm starting to get scared to even be awake. I....I need to get out of here," I cried, getting up off the couch, forgetting I was still on it when I'd fallen asleep.

"Wait, what do you mean you need to get out of here?. You....you don't mean Central City?," Cisco asked getting up, moving over to me fast, his hands reaching out and grabbing my own.

"I should never have moved here. This was a mistake. I....I can't stay here knowing this man in yellow is after me. I need to leave this city, go somewhere he won't find me."

"Raven, please. Stop and think about this. Running away isn't gonna solve anything. Look, I....I think we need to tell the team."

"I....I can't. What if they don't believe me?. What if they think I'm crazy?. Please. I can't tell them, at least not yet," I sighed, shaking, staring at him, silently pleading with him to agree with me, moving up close to him, my hands dropping from his own, moving my arms around his waist.

He lets out a sigh, his own arms wrapping around me, pulling me in towards him, holding me gently, his cheek resting on the top of my head, my own resting on his chest.

"I'm....I'm sorry. You're....you're right. I can't just leave, not now, not after what happened between us. It....it did happen, right?," I mumbled, hearing him let out a chuckle. 

"Well, I should hope so. It would be a bit crushing if we'd both dreamt it," he laughed, making me giggle. 

"Then....maybe we should convince ourselves that it did," I whispered, lifting my head up off his chest, looking up into his eyes, feeling his hand move to cup my cheek, his thumb running along my bottom lip making me shudder. 

"I love you."

"I love you."

He grinned, moving his thumb from my lip to my cheek, his mouth moving to my own, moving his hand to my hair, his other resting on my lower back.

This kiss feels completely different to the one we'd shared a few hours ago even though that was the very first kiss we'd shared. Instead of being slow and gentle, this feels fast and desperate, like even though this wasn't the first time we'd been inti


End file.
